There are three major problems experienced in that stage of life: declining health and disappointment with people and systems.
The declining health is obvious. You start wearing glasses, first just for reading, then also for seeing better at dusk and at distance. You cannot hear as well. You cannot run as well. You feel pain where there was none before. The back pain is especially cruel. Waking up one morning, going to the bathroom, sitting down on the toilet... and not being able to get up. Your body is breaking down.
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| This tree was too weak for the strong winds. |
The disappointment in people happens throughout life: as a teenager you go on a organised foreign trip and lend money to some girl, so she can buy something cheaply^, and when you return she keeps the thing, but refuses to pay you back and her mother scolds you. You get in a car accident and the cop believes the lying truck driver, not you. You lease your apartment to your work colleague, while you work abroad, and they leave without giving you any notice or paying last month's rent. Your brother stops talking with you. Some of your friends stop calling you back. Your neighbour is dry cutting concrete 2 meters from your window, and doesn't give a f*ck about the dust blowing your way. These things happen, but they are more on an individual level. When you get older, you start being disappointed with large groups of the society. How the f*ck was a slimy pedophile, rapist, cheater, liar, and a murderer elected the president of the United States? How the f*ck was a bully, football hooligan, pimp, drug addict, and scammer elected the president of Poland? People are stupid.
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| Koala habitat "cleared" for car oriented, low density housing. |
And then, there is the problem of losing trust in systems. You see how politicians, together with state employees and a market research company rig a public consultation and environmental protection processes to build a motorway through koala habitat. You start seeing misinformation, not just in the social media, but also in the mainstream media. You start seeing problems with the international rankings, sanctions against some countries, but not others, often repeated political and historical narratives. You start noticing who owns what. You start seeing politicians turning a blind eye towards obvious injustice, shaking hands with monsters, as if nothing happened. You see how little human life and health is worth to the people at the top. You start seeing improbable election results and election fraud that neither the politicians, nor the state institutions tasked with ensuring fair elections, want investigated. You start seeing how the system is quick and ruthless against the weak and how slow and toothless it is against the powerful. You keep reading opinion polls indicating that the people want one thing, and see the politicians ignoring it and doing another. You read the Epstein files and you realise that even the worst conspiracy theories may be true, and the institutions tasked with catching criminals allow the most despicable people to walk free. The systems are unfair.
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| Forest destroyed for car oriented shopping in Gold Coast. |
Is it any wonder that older people are often grumpy? Ignorance is bliss. Children are happy, because they don't know what is out there yet. Young people can be happy, if they are healthy, trusting and still not experienced. When you have an inquisitive nature, with age you realise that you saw too many bad things first hand, read too many books, talked with too many people. You know that everything is f*cked up.
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| Cold, snowy winters like this, typical in my youth, are becoming rare in Poland. |
Is the only way to win (live a content life), to not play? Stop watching and reading news. Stop having deeper conversations. Stop doing yard-work. Stop wanting good things for people, animals, and the environment. Stop caring.
No.
Yes, your body is breaking down, people are stupid, systems are unfair, and everything is f*cked up, but...
You still have many years of life ahead of you. Just don't lift heavy things, sleep well, eat healthy and in moderation, stay away from the things and people that stress you the most, but be close to the people that care about you. You will experience joy, learn new things, laugh and joke.
Not all people are stupid, and not in all respects. There are people who, when presented with a reasonable argument, will listen, think and learn. People change too. We all say or do something stupid or bad from time to time. Don't hold grudges forever.
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Not all systems are unfair, and not all the time. Sometimes, one good person can make the outcome right. A journalist who cares about the truth, a judge who cares about justice, a politician who cares about the common good, or a billionaire with a mission that does not cause human misery or environmental destruction. It is important to do your part. To make your little corner of the world a slightly better place. It is important to vote. It's not true that all politicians are bad, or equally bad. Sometimes, you need to get off your high horse and vote for the lesser evil - I'm thinking of you Steve Wozniak, and you my younger brother. Your vote, assuming the elections are not rigged, may decide if my daughter gets the critical medical help when she needs it. It is f*cking personal. Not voting, staying quiet when harm is being done to someone else, makes you a bad person.
Being religious may help navigate through life's storms, but religions have a history of diving us, so I would be very careful here not to fall into some form of "us versus them", which may lead to hatred and war. We are in this together, regardless where we live, how we look, or what we believe in.
There is an idea that Irena Sandler, Marek Edelman and Władysław Bartoszewski practiced:
"People should be judged as either good or bad. Race, background, religion, education, or wealth don't matter. The only thing that counts is what kind of human being you are."
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^ It was July or August 1989. We were going to Moscow. Before the trip, we all could exchange the same amount of Polish złoty into Soviet roubles at the official exchange rate. The inflation in Poland was rampant, 680% by December 1989. People kept savings in US dollars or German marks. The price of everything was calculated in US dollars and often you used US dollars or the Pewex equivalents ("bony") to buy foreign made things, like jeans or cassette tapes. It was also a time when there was a shortage of many consumer goods in Poland. People were buying US dollars, travelling abroad, exchanging US dollars for local currency, buying things and bringing them to Poland to sell. My mother did it a few times. The girl in question used up her allowance of roubles and wanted more to buy a hair dryer. I still had my roubles. I agreed to give them to her, but I asked her to pay me back in Poland in US dollars, at the exchange rate at the time when I bought the roubles. She agreed. It was a fair deal. When we returned to Poland, she didn't return the money. When I finally went to her apartment, her mother scolded me, saying I shouldn't be making such deals with kids - we were both teenagers, similar age, I think. I don't remember if she returned any money to me. I was quite shocked. Perhaps only the Polish złoty at the fixed official rouble exchange rate, which was at that time probably worth half. The hair dryer was worth at least a few times more. It was perhaps the first time I felt cheated. Almost 40 years later, I still remember it.
Now, that I think about it, 5 years later there was another thing. My step-father gave me his old car for free. I was a uni student. He should have kept it, it would be worth good money now, as even back then it was already a vintage model - one of the first Fiat 125p 1300 with many original Italian parts. It looked like
this, but orange. I didn't appreciate it back then. I had no garage, and I had no money for repairs. The brakes were very bad. I had a little fender-bender with a member of the parliament, because his car turned and stopped to let pedestrians cross, and I, behind him, could only watch in horror how long my car took to stop after pressing on the breaks. I also let my younger brother take the car for rides with his friends. He didn't have a licence, one of his friends did. They crashed it. Not seriously, but a bit more than a fender-bender. Finally, the car would not start anymore. It was just sitting in the parking lot. I didn't know it back then, but it was just a flat battery. I put an ad in the paper to sell it. Some young guys came, they started it, we signed the contract. They didn't have the full amount, only half. We agreed that they would bring the rest later. I gave them the keys and they drove off. That was the last I saw them.
Many years later, we were selling a house, and we agreed with the realtor on a minimum sale price. The otherwise very nice guy, still forced us to sell 5% below that. The trick worked like this: the nominal price in the sales contract was the minimum price we requested - which made the agent, according to him, entitled to his 3.5% fee: he found the customer willing to buy it for the price acceptable to us, so his part of the agreement with us was fulfilled. But, in the details of the sale contract, we as sellers, had to include a phrase that we would give the buyer "up to" X amount for "
mortgage points". The scam is that the buyer will always use up X, because this lowers their monthly repayment. If the buyer had to use their own money to buy the points, they would need to keep the house
way past the break-even point to come ahead. The X in our case was about 5% of the sale price.
Yeah, I have trust issues.